We take decisions and act on what we think
and believe is right. And this is determined
by our value systems.
However, we pick up our values and beliefs
as we go through life, often without really
questioning their validity.
And we also...
...generalise our values based on what is
appropriate in one situation and apply them
to all situations, regardless.
This can lead us to
- do the wrong thing
- not do the right thing, or
- to do things that don't need doing
By doing what we think we "should" without
thinking, we can waste huge amounts of time,
make significant mistakes and lose out on a
whole range of opportunities.
ACTION POINT
When you challenge your "shoulds" with
the question "Who says I should?" and the
answer is "Me," then you need to do a
smidgeon of detective work.
What is driving your compulsion?
Why do you feel you "should"?
Why is it a "should" and not something you
feel you want to or must do?
Will this course of action actually serve you?
Then delve a little...
...deeper into the murky, mysterious and
magical workings of your mind.
[Isn't this fun?]
What are the values and beliefs at work?
Are they appropriate in this situation?
As an example:
You may believe you should be strong and
never admit your weaknesses.
But in some situations this can distance you
from others and get in the way of establishing
rapport, diminishing your ability to influence
and create the results you want.
Start interrogating...
...your "shoulds" and open up a whole new,
richer understanding of how to use the immense
power of your belief system to maximise your
effectiveness, and your well-being.
